Average of Your Friends

Posted: January 15, 2014 in Improvement
Tags: , , ,

There’s been talk all around the web about how you are the average of five closest friends or the five people you hang out with most. Thus, bringing forth articles suggesting you surround yourself only with successful people to improve yourself and cutting out friends and even family that aren’t as successful as you. Now I’m all for cutting shit out when things aren’t adding up if those friends and family are straight toxic to your development, however, I’ve noticed advantages on both sides of the table.

Find two groups of friends, separate or some kind of sub groups inside a larger group of friends. The first will be the friends you know that are with out a doubt more successful, more ambitious, or better than you at at least one thing that you can learn from them and they are willing to help you. They are of course your friends and should be more than happy to help you. I have never had anyone turn me away when I’ve come for help on something. This will be the people you hang out with primarily when you want to get shit done. Go the gym wil them, talk about future job prospects with them, comment on their new found style, more often than not, in my group of friends I find that are more successful than I am read the same interesting articles or maybe some random TED talk I do and we have a thought provoking chat over a few beers about it. At the very least one of us has a new book, article, movie or music to suggest to other. Just being around people that you know are more successful than you can be inspiring for yourself to go work on our physique, knowledge, or side hustle you have going on.

Your second group of friends will be the ones you know you are doing better than. No offense to these bros, love em to death but while I was on my way up they must have been stuck on the stair master, because I was the same place they were a few years back and only one of us has really bounced back from it better than before. These are the guys that keep you sane when you’ve been working hard on becoming a better version of yourself. Not only does being in the company of people not quite as successful as you are make you feel better about yourself it can also serve as a way to relax and recharge after a possible stressful day of doing your thing. Now don’t get me wrong, it’s ok to hang out with these type of people, trust me they throw some hella good parties, but theres more to life than that. They may be the man now for the four or some years now they have in college, but they won’t be when they’re broke and all they have to look forward to the day is escaping reality with drugs and alcohol. Don’t let it become a habit. Use these friends wisely.

Now this is where you become the average of these two groups of friends. Both groups of friends, (I’m assuming these are sub groups of the same larger group of friends, every body has them) will see you on both sides, all work and no play makes thatGuy a dull boy right? In my experience the first group will hit you up when the time comes to play, and the second group will see your progress through your actions with the first group when they finally chose to better themselves if any at all. Never try to tell the second group about how your bettering yourself, always let them come to you. This way you know they’re serious after the second or third time they persist on you helping them out. If you try to force them, it will only result in bitter jealousy and bullshit excuses. But in the case that they do come forward for help there is a great feeling that comes with giving back, plus it helps you with your own development by teaching it to others. If you can’t teach something, you’ll always be the student.

Keep your ambitious friends from burning out, get your not so ambitious friends in gear, and you will find yourself both improving yourself and giving back to those determined enough to make changes to their lives. Life is a balance between work and play. Keep it that way and it feels good, man.

Next time.

  1. […] my average of your friends post I talk about having a balance of your successful friends and your party friends. I’m starting […]

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