Archive for May, 2014

Taking the Mask Off

Posted: May 28, 2014 in Improvement, Thoughts
Tags: , , , , ,

Masking
In becoming the best versions of ourselves, one of the things I’ve struggled with in the past year or so is being completely transparent with everyone. Growing up the youngest of six and taking shit from all sides I learned to tell everyone what they wanted to hear. If Kelly comes wines to me about Michelle then hell yea Michelle’s a bitch and vice-versa. Another case would be, if I thought someone had a lot of knowledge to offer me I would just sit and absorb offering very little back to that person.

Reading Ralph Waldo Emerson’s Self-Reliance as well as realizing the most common prison sentence is the one we set for ourselves. If we cannot learn how to express ourselves to fullest capacity we are doing the world a disservice as well as ourselves. Since I’ve started being more transparent and expressing myself with no concern for what others thought, I’ve noticed more people have come to me with interest in what I’m doing with my life. If someone asks me how I’m doing or what I’m up to, I’ll them exactly that. I’m doing well, I’ll say. Graduation with a four-year degree and making plans to do what I actually want to do with my life has got people genuinely interested I think. To my surprise one of my “King” authorities if you will, told me he’s the one who sits and absorbs information from me now. Although I had gotten him into Ron Paul in 2010 (lolz) and sparked some readings for him and keep him going in the gym I still consider him the King type in our rag tag group, but I digress.

I will have a BA in computer science from a Big 10 university, but my real goal is become a personal trainer, jump start this blog and work for myself as soon as possible. The people I talk to on a regular basis who were serious about getting into shape have all come to me with diet and exercise questions, like I’m an authority of some kind. Maybe I am to an extent, but not a professional. Because of this I’ve decided to start writing a fitness e-book on my few days off here during the week. That being said, expect this blog to feature more health and fitness related posts, or have a sibling site solely for that.

Taking off the mask is easier said then done. Truth is, the majority of the people you surround yourself suck. Your teachers suck, the other students suck, your parents suck, your friends suck the girl at the check out counter…sucks. Yup, the majority them suck. I never ask anyone for advice that I know for a fact hasn’t done what I’m trying to do. If your even smaller than I am or weaker than I am, don’t tell me how to lift. If your body looks like shit, don’t tell me how to eat either. Realizing not that you’re better than everyone, but you’re actively working on more things than they are makes you not give a flying fuck. Stagnation is death and I’m not about to care about a persons opinion who commits spiritual suicide at 25 when they think they’ve “made it” with there first job after college.

Not giving a fuck, in the best way possible, allows a person to live freely among the masses. I can walk down the street with a smile making eye contact with every passerby and love it. I can talk about my opinions with anyone and those who agree can relate. Those who don’t can add another perspective to my experience if they take it well and if they don’t take it well they can fuck right off now can’t they.

Another way to help you in ‘taking the mask off’ is understanding most people will appreciate you being open or transparent with them and will return the gesture. The more you give to people the more you will receive. The world is your mirror, guys.

Peace.

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When I started working on myself for the better, I didn’t have the initial lash back from friends or family. About damn near everyone of them offered some kind of encouragement for the most part. There was a little bit of confusion like “what the fuck, man?” when I would hang out at a friends house and instead of paying attention to netflix or playing super smash bros. I would be reading manosphere blogs, but that was the worst of it until I started to notice something recently.

I am not sure whether it’s just my environment where they say, “if you’re the most successful person in the room find a new room” or if those around are me feel some kind of inferiority complex. I am not trying to arrogant about what I’ve done with myself, but due to not drinking and working out as routinely as brushing my teeth, people have either been distancing themselves from me or I have reached a different level of personal development. I am merely expressing and reaching out to people on a path to self-improvement that may have or might encounter similar experiences. That being said…

Is it so hard to find like minded people hell bent on self improvement because there are so few of us? Or am I unable to inspire those around me powerfully enough yet, that they don’t feel the spark inside themselves do better. I’ve gone through six lifting partners now and I think I may have found someone who can consistently keep up with me and not bitch about being “too tired” or “too sore” from the daily activities. We all have day jobs and we’re all busy people, get over it.

In my average of your friends post I talk about having a balance of your successful friends and your party friends. I’m starting to see a skewed distribution with myself having more party friends than I do successful friends. I think I am now down to three who I can consider advantageous in my development whose number I actually have in my phone. Three. Three out of 300. 1% of the people I can call on my phone do I consider a mentor, a teacher, or someone with experience in something I would like to improve on.

I would like to believe we can learn something from everyone we meet in some shape or form, but at what cost. The crabs in the barrel metaphor rings truer than ever. Those who can’t do something want to tell you can’t do it because they’ve never done it. They sit around all day on imgur or have no ambitions after work other than to binge on netflix and have the next finest beer circle jerk over a new Indian pale ale.

To avoid feeling like a lone wolf in a pack of bored sheep, seek out these people that can act as mutual development partners. Connect with people in online communities as well. I follow Elliot Hulse’s videos religiously. Never met him, but he does follow me on Twitter so there’s that. Someone I have never met has had more of impact than hundred of people I’ve met in real life. Really cherish these kinds of people you find that can help you help yourself. It make take some prodding at first, as successful people will want to keep themselves away from crabs themselves, but if you can prove to them you’re serious, it’ll be worth it.

I may never understand why some people choose to be average, and it may be lonely at the top, but I bet the view is incredible.

Join the movement.

Peace.

Finals, graduation, pomp and circumstance, grad parties and back woods 30 packs of Busch light all around. Sounds like nothings changed since I’ve graduated high school four years ago. With graduation around the corner for high school seniors I bet they’re pandering the age old question “Should I go to college?”. What a question indeed. Preaching to the choir when I continually tell prospective students to absolutely read Aaron Clearey’s Worthless before going to college. Now again, to reiterate, this is not to say there is worthless information, but the majority of liberal arts degrees are not all they are cracked up to be for 15 grand plus a year for something you can get at a library or the internet for free.

In my experience, running on four years at a state university, is DO NOT GO TO COLLEGE STRAIGHT OUT OF HIGH SCHOOL. Their is scientific research backing the idea that you brain is not fully developed until 21-22 and you will only kill more brain cells drinking, smoking, doing drugs in a party school environment as a previously sheltered teen under your parents watchful eye.

If you don’t know what you want to do with your life yet this only re-enforces my suggestion to not go to college. Why spend the money going to classes you don’t enjoy, in a foreign city if you don’t even know what you want to do in the first place? But won’t college and my adviser help me figure out while I’m there? …You kidding? Hell no. Those who haven’t done it are going to tell you how to do it? I don’t think so. These people are advisers. They have made a career out of advising people because they couldn’t do anything else. However, once you get into you core major classes you will be transferred over to a faculty member who WILL know what they’re doing in their field and will be a little more helpful and instructing you in what to do with your degree, but only slightly.

I have found at a collegiate level more likely than not, your professors will be more interested in their research than their teaching abilities. And if they are on tenure, multiply this by 10. Not only this, add to the experience that, and I quote, “if you want something more practical, go to vocational school to get Microsoft certified.” This gem came straight from the professor’s mouth teaching the most difficult class in the Compute Science department. I cannot speak for all departments, but this hit a nerve with me after putting in four years and feeling profusely over schooled and under prepared for the industry.

If you DO know what you want to with your life and you are in your early twenties over the age of 21, go only if the degree you wish to pursue is necessary for the job you think it will help you land. If you want to be a writer, start a blog and try your hand at E-lance writing.. If you want to be a musician, master your instrument or voice. If you want to be an actor, audition for plays, perform an act for open mic night at your local bar. You get the idea. Even in my experience where I thought a degree in computer science would help me be prepared for a job fresh out of college I am still significantly under prepared for the job opportunities out there. I will be teaching myself most of what I will doing for my anticipated first real job. Did I mention I can do the majority of it for free online, or get paid for it through an internship?

If you look at the major colleges these days the debt you accumulate to prepare you for jobs that may or not even be there or pay you enough to pay off you loans with a reasonable standard of living just isn’t worth it. My recommendation is wait on it at first to avoid unnecessary debt on worthless gen eds and to figure out your true passion. If you feel you still want the “college experience” move to a college town, reside in shitty apartment, living out your youth as the Van Wilder of the college without the responsibility of class. One of my buddies is doing this post graduation and never wants to leave. He’ll grow older and maybe grow out of it. No college kid wants to party with a burnt out 40 year old at the bar.

If you do go to college, I have given to tips here to help you a long the way, but if you decide not to go you might find yourself asking, “Ok, now I’m not going to college, what do I do now?” Well, this is where you figure it out. No shame in living with your parents for a while longer because I guarantee your college counter parts aren’t letting their parents dime go unused. Develop a PhD. on your own terms. Travel if you like, study anything that interests you whether it’s money making or not. You’ll learn a lot more this way compared to liberal arts general education. Get a shitty job somewhere while you’re at it. It is six years of working at grocery stores that has motivated me to build the skills I need to not work some run of the mill minimum wage slave job. I will bet this blog on it that a similar job will teach you the same.

Once you decide not to go college there will be some unpleasant reactions from the people around you. Your friends will think you will live with your parents forever and your parents may fear the same. In a society that values competitiveness over collaboration and knowledge over creativity, they will tell you education is the key.

Ignore Everybody and do your own thing for awhile. I am not saying you should never go to college, however, do proceed with caution spending thousands of dollars on something that will supposedly determine the career for the rest of your life. This will definitely not be the case in my experience, but the people who tell you who go to college, land some job security, and work until you can retire tend to think so.

Thanks to Danger and Play for the idea and more to come.

Join the movement.

Peace.