Posts Tagged ‘Lover’

“In our view the patriarchy the expression of deep and rooted masculinity, for truly deep and rooted masculinity is not abusive. Patriarchy is the expression of immature masculine.”


Robert Moore and Douglas Gillete have written one of the most definitive works on masculine psyche of our time, King, Warrior, Magician, Lover: Rediscovering the Archetypes of the Mature Masculine
and for the most part has gone unnoticed in the bloggers I’ve read atleast. With the same goal of a “Return of Kings” so to speak this book should be somewhat of a masculine bible along with Jack Donovan’s The Way of Men

Robert and Douglas begin with the state of the male psyche as it was in the 90s even, long before anyone Manosphere writer even began to publish works on masculinity. (Seems like the decline has been going on much longer than I thought) They describe how we have lost much of our rituals for boys becoming men and we have become stuck in the boyhood psyche. An immature masculine bent on validation, fear, and weakness. That is we have never reached a balance of our King, Warrior, Magician, and Lover archetypes.

KWML Chart

Even in the first 40 or so pages my perception began to change. You begin to know yourself through the four archetypes to get to know others and their imbalance of the four archetypes. I saw my boss as the high chair tyrant. A couple friends as overly aggressive Warriors. Another as a positive King-Warrior type. I myself thought I was too much of a lover-magician type, with some examples of an overly aggressive Warrior, completely lacking in King qualities. In an attempt to connect with the King I became a lot calmer, but I alsos think I lost most of my Warrior type. Becoming content with my situaiton, extinguishing my fire to go out and improve my situation, basking in what I had but stagnating on what I wanted. Maintaining balance within the 4 types is more difficult than you would like to believe. To be a completely grounded individual in all 4 requires a deep understanding of when to be which one at what time and also when to be a combination of the 4.

I would argue that to correct my contented Kingship, I need to incorporate the other 3 as well. The quick decision and fire of the warrior to keep me going on my desired path; The craftiness of the magician to master the skills needed create and the wisdom to have perspective; and the tenderness of the lover to keep myself from becoming to serious in life, creating the work-play balance.

One of the biggest things I noticed while reading this was the majority of my friends and I used to just a Lover type. The guy who made of light of every situation, but was never a magician creating something or a master at his craft. Never a Warrior with quick decisiveness and brazen. Nor were they a King, being a humbled leader. Another example of the lack in masculine rituals to create these call to adventures

This post was a little all over the place I know, but no one post would cover the extent of knowledge inside this book. Even the authors had to take the original book and split it up in to 4 new ones specifying more on the seperate types. All in all reading this book encourages and inspires you to look into others and especially yourself as to what you are most identify with as well as what types you are lacking in if you even have it all or are still stuck in a boyhood type.